After months of procrastination, I’ve decided to begin prepping for the GMAT.  Though it’s not a difficult test, scoring in the top 1-2 percent will still require a lot of work.  If there’s anything I learned about myself last year is that I can sit in a chair for many, many hours at a time–focused on one thing (albeit, poker).  Hopefully, this will carry over to studying.  I plan to take the test in the summer–most likely in July or August. 

There’s also a timed writing section.  For practice, I’ll post my timed essays (30 minutes each) on my blog.  Timed essay writing is not my forte, but with practice, I’ll get better.   

Realistically speaking, piano (practice limited to 4-5 times a week) and poker (limited to max of 1hr/day; apply hit-and-run style–if you’re up 100 or more early, then quit) will take a hit during the next couple months.  My social life will take a hit as well, but then again, I don’t have many friends down here anyway so it’s not a big loss.  I’m also trying to include cardio exercise 5-6 times/week; weights 2-3 times/week (from now until mid-April, I’ll just focus on pushups and situps).

While i’m committed to studying hard for the test, that’s not to say that I don’t have some reservations about going back to school.  While I’m the type that enjoys school and [healthy] competition, part of me senses that an MBA from even a ‘prestigious’ school is overrated (There’s an article in a recent issue of Businessweek that discusses how the MBA is overrated).  The conclusion from the article is that getting an MBA education from even a Top tier school won’t necessarily make you a better manager, but you may benefit from the social networking. 

Yesterday, someone remarked:  “If you got a business degree from ______, then you probably don’t need an MBA.  But because you didn’t major in business, you’ll need it”. 

It’s pretty obvious that this person didn’t know what he was talking about.  IMO, a business-focused degree at the undergrad level at any school is a joke.  At least not any better than a science major who then took 4-5 business-related courses after graduating. 

Before I decide whether to go back to school, it’s important that I at least get the requirements out of the way.  The next 3 months should be fun. 

    

 

 

 

 

  

On Saturday morning, I performed the Chopin Etude Op. 25, No. 12 in C minor on stage.  I had a rough start considering the adrenaline from watching the first performer get absolutely roasted on stage by Dr. Penneys.  I had a tough time adjusting the bench (couldn’t tell if I was going up or down) so I couldn’t lower the height.  It was quite embarrassing to say the least and kinda rattled me a bit.  After a couple minutes, I gave up and just played through the piece.  Not surprisingly, then, it wasn’t my best performance (hit more wrong notes than what I’m used to).  I recall during the opening passages (where I  was still adjusting to the instrument), I told myself to just focus on the melodic notes and dynamic range of the piece, which I think I did an ok job of.   After my performance, she went onstage and started asking me some questions.  Apparently she was peeved by my taking so long to adjust the bench and follow through.  I had rolled up my sleeves since it was kinda warm in the music hall, and she had a few comments about it (”you should tape your sleeves to your arms or cut off the sleeves”).  She made me walk on stage to the bench probably 3 times or so and just sit and play without taking my sweet ass time to get ready (or even roll my sleeves).  The decision to play (and how to play) should occur before you walk on stage.  And all the unnecessary movements and time spent between adjusting the chair and playing will just make you even more nervous.

She then asked if I knew where the middle of the piano was.  Apparently, I didn’t.  She pointed to the Steinway emblem on the piano as the center of the piano (which was about where the E-flat black key was), and to always sit in the middle of the piano.  I had always thought it was at middle C.

Sitting in the middle of the piano and far enough from the keys (enough to be able to stand up without using your hands for support), posture, and planting your lower leg/foot (more or less right angle to the floor) will give you better support and balance.  Especially with this Etude, which requires a strong trunk.

The other thing was that I was leaning too much towards to the bass register and that my playing was clearly biased towards those notes.  She wanted me to play the accented top notes (with equal emphasis as bottom accented notes)–think “ocean waves crashing against rocks on both sides”.

When she demonstrated this, I also noticed that she laid her hands pretty flat when playing the opening passage, with very minute digital movements–though every note was played clearly.

There were 5 or so performers in all.  The pieces included the Chopin etude, Chopin’s Fantaisie Impromptu, Chopin’s Ballade No. 4, a Liszt Concert Etude, Rachmaninioff Corelli Variations, etc.  Dr. Penneys was very tough critic though I believe she meant well.  She has a way of saying something that you aren’t likely to ever forget.  Even if you’re supremely talented, she’ll still put you in your place.  Her blunt comments reminded me of Simon from American Idol and Donald Trump from The Apprentice shows, but the difference is that her criticisms are intended to motivate those who are serious about music to improve their playing, whereas I can’t say the same for Simon or Donald.

Needless to say, I wasn’t too pleased with my performance and afterwards just drove back to my place and took a nap.  I realized that performing onstage in a music hall is a lot different than practicing in the practice rooms or at your home.  You have to adjust to not only the pressure, but also to the instrument, and the acoustics of the building/room.  On the positive side, most of her criticisms of my playing had more to do with the mental aspect rather than the musical.  She did comment that I played the Etude “well”, but it could be better if I incorporate those things.   During Monday’s lesson, Dr. N commented that she thought my performance went very well and that she felt Dr. Penneys thought the same.  And that Dr. Penneys comments were complimentary (really?).  I told her that I didn’t necessarily feel that way (one of those moments where you just wish you’re wrong) but maybe I’m just being too hard on myself?  But I did come out of this experience a lot more knowledgeable about music, piano performance, etc.

Later that night  (Saturday), I went to a friend’s house for poker night.  They threw a surprise birthday thing for me and it was fun.  Admittedly, I was still upset about what happened earlier in the day, so I took it out on everyone at the table.  Played from 9:20pm till sunrise (6:45am).  I was just in the zone that night–making the right reads and knowing when to play aggressive, when to bluff, when to fold, etc.   You know it’s your night when you can sense that you’re ahead by a little bit (your top pair with 10 kicker beats his top pair with 7 kicker) and push him all in for the rest of his chips–knowing that he’ll call.  The final hand of the night was reminiscent of the final scene from The Cincinatti Kid.  I raised on the button with K5o and the big blind calls.  The flop comes out J65.  I bet out a little less than the size of the pot and my opponent raises me three times the amount.  I call (hoping to get either a 5 or K on the turn).  The turn card’s a 5 of spades.  He bets about two-thirds the size of the pot.  I had already calculated his chip count before the flop so I knew that if I made a medium-sized raise here, he will probably try to put me all in (if he’s on a draw or with top pair).  Plus, he most likely can’t put me on trips.  So I raised him about 2.5 times. He calls.  On the river, a 2 of diamonds.  He goes all in (2-3 times the size of the pot).  I think about how he played this hand and wondered how likely is it that he was holding 34 and chased an open-ended straight or had a boat.  Knowing the player and remembering some memorable hands between us, I thought I had 70% odds of having the best hand here.  After 4-5 minutes of deliberation, I call.  My trip 5’s held up. Biggest pot of the night.  Fittingly, a record was set that night.  I just wished it could’ve been the other way around– en fuego at the piano masterclass and lose all my money at the poker table instead.

my lack of recent posts belie the activity of some things.  Last Friday, I learned that my former coworker passed away ‘peacefully’.  While it’s no doubt sad to hear, it’s also a sigh of relief in that he doesn’t have to feel pain anymore.  His family can now bring closure to this difficult period in their lives and start the healing process (I don’t in this case, the grieving started when it was learned that he would only have a few months to live.)

Today was very blah.  After work, I went straight to the funeral home to attend the viewing (the sun/moon had something to do with it–and no, i’m not superstitious).  This being my first ‘wake’/'viewing’, I seemed a bit out of place with my white button-up shirt (though I was wearing black pants).  It’s interesting how different cultures wear different colors that must symbolize something.  Some wear red, some black, and some white.  To me, it makes the most sense to wear white.  Black is just too drab and why depress yourself anymore than you have to? At least I wasn’t in jeans (today was jean and sneaker day at work).  At the viewing, they had a video collage of his life with some Sinatra and some nameless music for background.  Perhaps it’s due to my inexperience with this, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel a bit weird about the whole thing.  I’m just not a big fan of funerals to begin with.  And I don’t understand the point of ‘viewing’ the corpse.  I asked someone afterwards why they show the corpse, and they said it was to dignify them.  Well, IMO, if you want to show dignity, you close the casket.  At my funeral, I sure hope it’s closed casket.

It’s pretty weird to have to think about what your funeral’s going to be like.  But I guess you gotta start thinking at some point.  When I saw the email at work informing everyone that a former coworker passed away, I remember thinking, “I wonder if he wants people to know.”   Maybe I’m just weird, but I might actually prefer to go quietly and be forgotten than to have everyone talk about my death.

I was asked to play piano at the funeral.  However, the funeral service is at the same time as the masterclass that I’ll be performing at (i had a premonition that this would happen).
Right after the viewing, I went to Dr. Rebecca Penneys (Professor at Eastman and recording artist) recital and thought some more about the viewing, about performing tomorrow at 10am in the same auditorium, and of course, the music (Schubert’s Moment Musicaux, Mompou, Mozart, etc).  I have to wake up early tomorrow to play for Dr. Penneys the Chopin Etude (Op. 25, No. 12) at the masterclass–I feel my hands perspiring as I’m typing this.  On Monday, Dr. N allowed me to practice in the auditorium on the 10′ Steinway.  It was a neat experience to say the least though the fact that the keys were incredibly difficult to press down and the dynamic range being limited (in other words, the piano’s great for Mozart, Schubert, etc, but for fast and loud pieces, it can be potentially disastrous).  I’m going to have to slow down the tempo just a tad when I perform tomorrow.  You know what, I don’t really care how many wrong notes I play (there’s bound to be a few here and there) as I’m going to let my hair down.  I believe that it’s better to make a few mistakes here and there, but make the instrument sing rather than play noteperfect but all flat.

Just remember to bring out the melodic contours of the piece, dynamic ranges, the accented notes, use your upper arm (to create the ‘basic rhythm). Your hands should be flat and to bend your wrists sideways at the top/bottom notes.

Today was definitely not one of my better days (there were some other things that I left out here).  Whether they [the audience] like it or not, they’re going to hear about it tomorrow.

Three weeks ago I created a poker log using Excel. For the columns, there are Notes on my play, Net gain/loss, Hourly rate, Number of tables, Game description, Grade, Time start, Time end, Time spent, and probably the most important–Expenses (which are the amount lost due to bad play). Bad play=chasing flushes, straights, sets, etc with bad odds (pot odds and/or implied odds), bad bluffs, bad calls, playing out of position, etc.

A lot of people use the BB per hour to describe their performance. I came up with my own: Profit/Expenses (due to bad play) ratio. For instance, today, I turned two pair (A8o) and I raised the original better (he had bet 30) to 75. He called. River card put out a K. He bets 100 (he’s first to act). I had reason to believe he had me beat (most likely AK), but I wasn’t disciplined enough to fold there (sure enough, he had AK). Though most probably couldn’t lay that down, I still consider it a bad play. So in that column, I’d put down 100 bucks for amount due to bad play.

If you get sucked out on, (e.g., if someone catches a straight flush on you on the turn–you flopped Q high flush–after he calls your big raise–and catches his one outer on the turn. This happened to me last Saturday…), that would not count as expenses (due to bad play).
Although it’s not mathematically correct to say that if you add the denominator and numerator, you’ll get your theoretical maximum earnings (if you played optimally), it helps to think that though (’penny saved is a penny earned’). Even if you try to pull a fast one and get lucky, that’s still accounted for in the numerator.

I think for very good players (top 15-20 percentile), the profit/expense (due to bad play) is around 2:1. I’m guessing that the upper echelon (top 5-10 percent) is somewhere between 3:1 and 4:1. After crunching three weeks worth of data, I’ve noticed that I come out ahead 3 out of every 4 sessions (i.e., usually means win at least half the buy-in amount). However, the times that I do lose, I lose almost twice as much as when I win. This probably suggests that the times that I do win, I’m disciplined enough to know when to quit and the times that I lose, I’m probably too stubborn to admit that it’s just not my day and probably should cut my losses.

My current [(profit)/(expense due to bad play)]ratio is 2:1. Hopefully, in a few weeks, I can say that my ratio in March was 3:1 (while maintaining my average hours per day to 1.5 hrs/day).

My goal is to collect enough data to do some trend analyses to spot patterns. By tracking your progress every time you play, you can catch yourself playing poorly (losing X amount for 4 consecutive sessions AND playing more than 2 hours might be a red flag) that you otherwise would be oblivious to.

I went to visit my coworker this afternoon at his place (he recently sold his big house and moved into a condo so that the mortgage would be paid off and his wife wouldn’t have this burden).  Had a mild case of nerves since I didn’t really know what to expect and what my demeanor should be (e.g., is it ok to smile?  what can and can’t I say–i guess ‘how’s it going?’ is out of the question here).  I hadn’t seen him in 18 months or so and wasn’t really prepared to face this.  But I brought my music with me (Chopin Etudes, Preludes, some Liszt, and a hymnal).  Way out of my comfort zone. 

I was greeted at the door by his wife and a couple of friends of theirs from up north and my coworker’s son from his first marriage.  They seemed to be in good spirits.  I then went upstairs to the see him. 

Out of respect for him and his family, i won’t give specifics of what I saw nor what was said in that room, except that I definitely could not have prepared for this.  Cancer is much worse than I had imagined.   

I went downstairs and sat at their Kawai grand piano.  At first they wanted to see if he could come downstairs to watch, but he didn’t have the energy to do so.  Instead, they brought out the video camera (the same one that they used to film the New Year’s Eve Party 2003) and perched it on a ladder so that they could videotape my playing.  I joked that it’s okay as long as they give me royalties for it (though I got a few laughs out of it, wasn’t sure if that joke was in poor taste, but I figured they’d forgive me since I came all the way out there to do this).  His former boss earlier had recommended that I start off playing “Amazing Grace”, since that is a piece he knows very well from his earlier days, then I played Chopin Etude Op. 25 No. 7 (in G-sharp minor)–the consensus was that this piece sounded very ‘peaceful’.  Then his wife asked that I play some long-hair music like the kind I played at the New Year’s Eve Party (I don’t remember playing those…), so i figured she meant the Liszt Liebestraum No. 3 which I had dreaded about (since I hadn’t played it in over  2 years so I’m bound to hit some wrong notes).  So I played the piece and managed to get through it, though definitely not one of my better performances.  Btw, the piano was seriously out of tune, the una corda was shot, and everytime you depressed the tre corda pedal, it sounded like a bunch of little mice talking.  His wife then asked me to play something ‘hot and heavy’, like “Sinatra”.  I couldn’t remember any Sinatra melodies off the top of my head so I had to look for books near the piano, but all I could find were some broadway songs and popular ballads in the piano chair (while looking for music, i saw the “junior hanon” book that was in new condition, that I had recommended my coworker get a couple years back to work on some basic technique; back then, he asked me to teach him but I had to decline since it’d be out of the way–i live an hour away).  Instead, I opted for “It’s a Wonderful World” and played that with some improvisation.  I followed that piece with the Brahms Rhapsody in G minor that I recently learned which was probably a bad choice (if you know that piece, you know that it doesn’t sound very happy or peaceful).  I gave my disclaimer beforehand:  “It sounds very ‘rushed’, though it’s got a beautiful melody” and played it well (one of my better performances)–suprisingly.  I then ended with Chopin’s Raindrop Prelude.  Afterwards, his wife tells me she wants to play the video at his funeral.  

Afterwards, I went upstairs to see the coworker and we exchanged some last words and thanks. 

 

 

 

 

This morning, I attended a piano masterclass taught by Dr. Howard Kim.  A boy played a Bach Invention, another student played a Chopin Mazurka, the next student played the Schumann Phantasiestucke (last 3 pieces), and the last student played Liszt’s Hungarian Rhapsody No.2.

There weren’t too many people in the audience.  There were probably less than 20 in the audience.   There is sure to be more at the next masterclass because it’s Dr. Rebecca Penneys teaching (Dr. Kim was under her tutelage at Eastman’s).

The students’ performances were what you would expect from amateurs.  Good effort and some good ideas here and there, but very raw, unpolished playing (i’m probably no different).  Dr. Kim’s a very funny guy and really knows how to get his point across using funny analogies.  Here’s what I learned:

In a lot of Baroque music, the ending is ‘long’ and ‘late’.  Long refers to how long you hold the note(s) before the last chord/note (Dr. Kim used the image of a skateboarder on a halfpipe, up in the air, then down again).  Also, because of the difference between a harpsichord and a more dynamic instrument such as the piano, you want to make the 16th notes sound much more busier than the 8th notes.

With the Chopin Mazurka, he encouraged the student to take breaths between phrases lest the audience get bored and confused about the message.  In chromatic passages, rubato has an interesting effect.  Exeriment with rubato in passages containing chromatic notes.

Silence can be golden.  Dr. Kim mentioned how when Horowitz played, he would play loud passages that were immediately followed by a half-second of complete silence and this had a delirious effect on the listeners.  Created more drama.  Experiment with this.

The Schumann piece lacked the ‘punctuation’ needed to create excitement.  Pay close attention to which notes are stressed.

The Liszt piece was very raw and Dr. Kim asked the student to use more rubato in some passages, and if you’re going to play a cadenza in the beginning, you need to play another cadenza later on in the piece (which the performer forgot to do).  Also, there’s a fulcrum in the 2nd or 3rd finger and work on wrist rotation.

Today I learned that a former coworker is near the end (Hospice) due to terminal cancer (lung).  His former boss informed me that during his visit today, the coworker had mentioned me and wished to hear me play piano again.  If you’ve following my blog for the last few years or so you’ll probably remember the blog entry and the video clip of me playing Liszt’s Liebestraum No. 3 at the company Christmas Party (partly against my will, but also an opportunity for me to exert my will) talent show in December 2003.  My coworker and his wife (a former model, not that it’s important to note here) were in attendance that night (he went onstage and read a poem that he had written) and I guess liked my performance enough to seek my services as a piano player at their New Year’s Eve bash a couple weeks later for $200 (the hardest $200 dollars I’ve ever earned…luckily, there’s online poker now).  His wife made me play the Liebestraum at least 3-4 times (mind you the the much of the audience were patiently waiting for works by Led Zeppelin or Pink Floyd)!  As I was leaving that night, the coworker mentioned how one of his neighbors across the cul-de-sac once was a trans-pacific Airline pilot and had died of cancer recently and that’s why that house was up for sale.  Sort of eerie coincidence, I guess.

I thought for awhile about the request to visit him tomorrow and also play piano for him, but at the end I reluctantly agreed to do it.   Not only am I rusty with a lot of pieces (especially the Liebestraum, which I haven’t played in over 2 years!), but visiting someone you know in his deathbed is something completely new to me.  And to be honest, I’m somewhat nervous.  I think I’ll play a couple slow, soft pieces–like Chopin’s “Left Hand” etude in G-sharp minor and end with the Raindrop prelude.

This lesson was the makeup lesson (because of my car woes in Jan).

Spent the entire hour playing the Chopin Etude (”Ocean”). I had practiced for an hour earlier in the practice rooms (which had software keys) and had warmed up pretty well and was playing at tempo (=120). I asked Dr. N if I could play on her Steinway in the office (there’s a Steinway grand and Kawai grand side by side in her office–wish my office space resembled that!)…usually the student plays on the Kawai, since the piano at the concert hall is a Steinway, what better way to prepare? Turns out her Steinway is quite new and doesn’t seem broken in yet. I was clearly struggling through the first few passages as the Steinway keys were probably the toughest to press than any I could remember and to worsen things, the depth of the keys seemed to be only 3/4 of what I’m used to. The pedal had the same problem. It was so tight and the depth was maybe half of that of a normal piano. So it was very difficult to vary the gradations.

Dr. N encouraged me to work on rhythmic accuracy in certain passages. Sometimes, I try to deceive the audience by playing a group of notes too quickly or maybe stress the offbeat when I shouldn’t. She recommended that I practice slow with a metronome on. Slow practice will make everything more accurate, she says.

She also gave me a pep talk on the masterclass (2 weeks from now) which I’ll participate in. I told her this etude is scary to play without any warmups whatsoever. I don’t know if I’ll get a chance to play a few measures before the masterclass to get a feel for the piano. Maybe two Monday’s from now (next week is Spring Break, so no class) I’ll get a chance to ‘rehearse’ there. Another idea is to play another ’slower’ etude such as the Left Hand etude (G-sharp minor) as the first piece. And the Ocean etude as the last. I may suggest that to Dr. N next week.